The Miscellaneous Goings On Of Tom - Moving So Fast I Can't Stop And Smell The Flowers

 

Overwhelmed With Positives, Still Processing Some Negatives

Well, it is fair to say a significant has changed in this last couple of weeks, and I'm moving so fast right now I can't smell the flowers. Until this week that is, when I crashed a little. Having been caught up in a whirlwind of positivity, an old destructive habit decided to grip me and pull me down. With a significant lockdown fatigue really starting to take control it was a real challenge to right the ship so to speak. Some of this comes after being triggered by the new Netflix documentary Seaspiracy. This triggered some eco anxiety that was compounded by seeing images of litter ridden parks and out on my walk, I was filled with despair, anger, frustration and grief like pain. It really puts into perspective how much we need to do, but it is not all doom and gloom as I am reassured that I care about the Earth in my reaction. As someone who is exploring animistic beliefs a connection with the Earth and nature is incredibly important. So when you see it being harmed you feel such a deep rooted anger and existential dread that it overwhelms you. One way I have dealt with this is positive ecological stories from sites like Happy Eco News, and I have made some small changes instantly. Whilst it is impossible in modernity to be 100% sustainable, we can all do our best to try and make a change. Obviously the elephant in the room is the cooperations that feed off of greed, misleading us and trapping us in unknown money making prisons, the documentary explains it better but that is the gist of it. Either way, whilst it is a stark wake up call, we have the power to make a better future for ourselves. Outside that, I just felt drained, I've been working hard in the music world over the last few months and all though a small burnout is not uncommon for me, this week I was just knocked for six. The positives are that I have just taken on my first official music business role as an A&R scout. Alongside my social media role at RAMzine and writing for Noizze and Fjordhammer I have been swept up in a swarm of music. What is exciting is it feels like that I finally have my foot in the door. It's been 3 years since I graduated from BIMM Bristol and it has been a massive learning curve. Shifting attitude, aligning priorities and time management has given me this opportunity that I am determined to take with both hands. I also have Covid to thank, without these lockdowns I feel like I wouldn't have invested the time I needed to put into this and more importantly myself. In the last 5 months alone I have come on leaps and bounds, it's been pretty overwhelming at times as the dream starts to become more tangible. Overall, it's just been a ridiculously fast and emotionally heavy couple of weeks. I've struggled with my identity on several occasions where I quest to find out who I truly am again, and I believe part of that relies on travelling so I have been significantly stunted in that regard. Annoyingly the more I read the more my travel lust is spurred on and like the rest of us I become infinitely frustrated. However, I am proving to myself that had work really does pay off and you can carve out an opportunity for yourself to succeed, so what ever the future may hold, I feel like I am ready for it. Just need to have a time out now and again. 

What I'm Listening To At This Very Moment

Although it's a non-album single, it's an epic song. I've been wrapped up in Wardruna hype after witnessing their mesmerising and incredibly moving livestream First Flight Of The White Raven. The performance was nothing short of ethereal and as I stated in my review, it shook me to my core. My soul felt connected for something much older than me. 

What I've Been Jamming To This Week

As some of you know I have been exploring folk music recently. The links between folk and metal are numerous from my perspective as both capitalise on capturing complex emotions and telling stories. Also, coming together and having a bloody good time. This exploration has only been bolstered as I have read the Welsh legends in The Mabinogion and a collection of Early Irish Myths & Sagas (you can see my reviews on Wandering Through The Ages), as I feel like I'm making ancient connections through literature as well as music. If anything it makes me want to spurn modern living anymore, even though I rather contradictorily want to keep my modern music devices. I think what I'm saying is I want to disengage with a few aspects to get back to a simpler life, it's complex I think but overall, a severe disconnect can only do positive things the majority of the time. Anyway, this week I've been obsessed with Irish jig and reel stuff and can't get enough of this Irish-American band called Solas. 

The Rays Of Hope Appear As Sunlight Through The Curtains

Whilst I found out this week how easy it is to become overwhelmed in negativity associated with doom and gloom in the news and other mediums, I have found hope in like minded people. Found hope in folk tales, romance, myths and legends. Even though I am longing for a life in history that I cannot have, it is so important to look after yourself and your purpose on the planet. One hope I hang on to is that all the 'predictions' stay that way, as predictions and over the next couple of decades we see significant change to prevent them from coming into the realms of reality. I have also seen the impact of incredible positivity off the back of my own efforts and I haven't known how to take it. Either was, there is hope and we all need to hang on to it, so we don't get eaten up by the gloom. To take advice from one of my favourite stories of all time;

We will get there people, keep digging deep, we will get there. 

The First One For A While

There was a reason why I made this the first Miscellaneous Goings On Of Tom for a while. I wanted to focus on getting some more reviews to you guys and get more musical content out and I am amazed at how much I managed to get out in March. All I can say is there is plenty more where that came from and even more exciting things too! Big love as always and thank you all for you support! 💙🤘